A bad effect to a small situation

I know one of my problems are i allow other peoples action have an effect on me.

I cant always cope going out and definitely can’t cope other to my house, but i try my best when it there birthdays, i havent got much money but i always get the something or/and bake cake or cupcakes , which costs money.

I have put so much time and energy into finding and getting the present personal to them and then getting to them, i dont think they realise how much i went through.

For my friends birthday i had made a  personalised papercuts, and a card with flowers that she loves.
For my birthday she gave me a bottle of vodka, i have known this person 18 years, i have never drank alcohol in front of her and over the last 5 years said i cant drink because of medication i am on.

Was it wrong thats this effected me, i felt like she had not thought about me, it was spare from xmas, it was in a carrier bag.

I am the sort of person who prefer a card, i love it when friends make cards or find card with something i love, cupcakes, shoes, bags etc

I havent ever been one to get many present and when i do normal i feel guilty for someone spending money on me.

But as i am practicing thinking about me and trying to make me as important as others, this situation made me feel like i am not as important as others, it made me analysis my friendships with everyone, i backed away from everyone,  i ended up self harming.

One small thing which i bet the other person didn’t think anything of had an effect on me and of course it wasn’t a good effect, why do i let things get to me?????????????

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